Low self-esteem

A girl had been feeling down for so long that she finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.

She went there, lay on the couch, spilled her guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make her feel better.

The psychiatrist asked her a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.

Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."

Better relationship (I changed this one alittle)

A woman walked into a therapist's office looking very depressed. "Doc, you've got to help me. I can't go on like this."

"What's the problem?" the docotor inquired.

"Well, I'm 23 years old and I still have no luck with the men. No matter how hard I try, I just seem to scare them away."

"My friend, this is not a serious problem. You just need to work on your self-esteem. Each morning, I want you to get up and run to the bathroom mirror. Tell yourself that you are a good person, a fun person, and an attractive person. But say it with real conviction. Within a week you'll have men buzzing all around you."

The woman seemed content with this advice and walked out of the office a bit excited. Three weeks later she returned with the same downtrodden expression on her face.

"Did my advice not work?" asked the doctor.

"It worked alright. For the past several weeks I've enjoyed some of the best moments in my life with the most fabulous looking men."

"So, what's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem," the woman replied. "My husband does (did)."

Ugly person illness

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

Trouble sleeping (I just thought this 1 was funny,lol)

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.

"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."

"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."

"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"